


A Painfully Beautiful Life

by spn_fam17



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester is Sam Winchester's Parent, Emotional, Hope, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:00:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24433960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spn_fam17/pseuds/spn_fam17
Summary: Dean and Sam just finished a hunt and are headed back to the bunker. But, the stars are out, and they decide to go watch them just like when they were kids. Yet, they start to think about their life and what is yet to come.This is set mid-Season 15.
Kudos: 8





	A Painfully Beautiful Life

**Author's Note:**

> This story just hit me straight in the face randomly tonight. I was listening to this amazing, beautiful song called "My Tears Are Becoming A Sea" by M83 and was overwhelmed with emotions. While the second half of Season 15 won't be out till the fall, I can't help but remember how this show was supposed to end last Monday. I wanted to write a story that not only reflected this upcoming climax in the storyline of the show, but also showcasing the Winchester brothers. I am so thankful, not only because we have a little more time left with these amazing characters, but also for them being created to begin with. I will always love Sam, Dean, Castiel, along with so many other phenomenal characters like Jack, Crowley, Charlie, Bobby, etc. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this short story. It means a lot to me. 
> 
> Here we go

Sam and Dean had just finished a hunt with a vengeful spirit terrorizing a small town in the northern part of Kansas. The boys had decided to go on the hunt by themselves so that Cas and Jack could keep researching what they could do to stop Chuck. Billie had not yet resurfaced again to give Jack his next step to enable him to put a halt to the deity, so the family had decided to just continue to look in more books and websites for information.

The Winchester brothers were exhausted from their hunt. They were about an hour out from the bunker, and sleep was calling Dean’s name. However, as he sat behind the steering wheel of his beloved Baby, he took notice of a few things. 

First, it was already nightfall. He removed one of his hands from the wheel to look at his watch, which read 8:47. He placed his hand back on the wheel. 

Second, they were in the middle of nowhere. They were cruising on an empty road, fields upon fields surrounding them. 

Third, it was a calm atmosphere. Dean had actually rolled his window down and turned his music off. He felt the cool air rush past his face. There were no sounds other than the purring of Baby’s engine. To make it even better, the stars were out. Not a cloud in the sky. 

Lastly, Dean looked beside him and saw his younger brother sitting there, sleeping with his head lying against the window. It wasn’t an unusual sight to Dean. There had been countless times Dean has seen his brother in the exact same position. But, tonight was different. Tonight, Dean felt a feeling in his chest. A warm, big brother feeling. 

The eldest Winchester pulled off to the side of the road. He turned the car off and quietly removed his keys. He watched Sam as he did so, and his baby brother didn’t even move a muscle. 

Dean leaned back against the seat and took a deep breath, closing his eyes. He felt so relaxed for the first time in a while. There were no noises whatsoever other than the few soft snores coming from his brother. 

It was truly calming and peaceful.

Sam started to stir a little bit. He recognized the Impala had stopped moving and figured they were back home. However, when he opened his eyes, the bunker was nowhere in sight. Instead, he saw the barren road, a field next to him, and his brother leaning back in his seat with his eyes closed. A small smile was on his face. 

That smile made Sam’s heart grow ten sizes. He wanted his brother to always have that smile. But, unfortunately, it had not been graced upon his older brother’s face in a long time. 

Sam wanted his brother to be happy. 

Sam moved slightly in his seat in order to readjust himself. Having heard some rustling beside him, Dean opened his eyes. The two brothers made eye contact finally. 

“Hey Sammy.”

“Hey Dean.”

Dean looked around at his surrounding and then back to his little brother. “Look, we can get back on the road if you want. I’m sure you’re tired still from the hunt. I just realized how beautiful tonight was and wanted to take a minute to enjoy it.”

Sam looked around and noticed the night sky. The stars were calling out to him. Sam had always loved looking at the stars when he was younger. When they were kids, Dean would sometimes sneak out and bring Sam along with him just so they could watch the stars. 

“I don’t mind at all. Do you wanna watch the stars for a few minutes? Then, we can head back.”

Dean smiled and nodded. “That sounds like a fantastic plan.”

The brothers opened the front doors of the Impala, the squeaky sound a familiar greeting to them. They both walked around to the front of the car and sat leaning against the hood, watching the stars.

Both boys could agree on one thing as a fact: It was truly mesmerizing.

The stars twinkled with such brightness, Sam thought they were dancing in the sky. Dean took note of how vast and expansive the night actually was. In all honesty, this scenery around them plus the calmness that enveloped their surroundings made it feel like they were in a cinematic masterpiece.

Dean could still feel that warm feeling in his chest, and it just wouldn’t go away. He hated to break the silence, but felt he needed to say something.

“This is truly so beautiful.”

Sam responded, “Yeah, Dean. I have to agree with you there.”

Dean started to feel a warm, wet sensation in his eyes. At first, it caught him off guard. Suddenly, he realized why. 

This was amazing. 

And he didn’t want it to have to end.

But, with Chuck focused on ending his story, this could all disappear. This magnificent moment: gone. And, at the center of it all, were Sam and Dean. Chuck’s “perfect ending.” 

One brother killing the other.

Dean realized right then and there how much he has to fight for. Not only for his own well-being, but also for that of this gorgeous world they get to live on. For the millions of people who have this precious gift of life. For his family and those they have lost along this journey. 

For Sam. His little brother who he had to raise. His mission in life has always been to keep him safe. Dean felt he had failed him way too many times after all Sam had been through over the years. Yet, as he looked over at the younger Winchester who was still staring up at the sky with the same curiosity and wonder he had as a child, Dean wanted Sammy to live. He wanted him to enjoy the rest of his life.

And honestly, Dean wanted to be there with him to live it, too. 

“Dean, you okay?”

Dean glanced over to his brother. Sam had been caught up with the beauty of the night sky when he heard a quiet sniffle. As he looked at his older brother, he noticed the tears falling slowly down his face. He was concerned if his brother was hurt or something. 

“Yeah, Sam. Just being reminded of the important things in life right now.”

Sam was caught off guard with that answer. Dean always claimed to not like chick-flick moments, but was getting better at not caring anymore and showing his emotions. But, Sam wasn’t prepared for that.

“What do you mean?”

Dean turned a little while still leaning on Baby, his leg slightly chilling on the hood so he could look at Sam better. 

“I’ve just been thinking about how painfully beautiful life is. Like, here you and I are, both been to literal hell and back, and yet we’re still here somehow. We carry a lot of baggage on ourselves. We’ve been through crap that would haunt other people to their graves. I mean, we’ve both died countless times. But, somehow we’re still here, watching the stars just like we did when we were kids.”

Sam was trying to follow along with where Dean was going with this. “Yeah, man. That’s true. I still don’t see you’re point, though.”

“My point is how lucky we are. Listen, when we look back on our lives from a bird’s eye view, you wouldn’t believe me. You would probably believe me as much as if I said I loved Celine Dion. Don’t get me wrong, dude, we have been through the damn wringer. I mean, we’ve lost so many friends and family. We haven’t really caught a break our whole lives. We’ve both been through torture and unimaginable pain. Yet, even with all that being true, there has been some light. Jack is alive again. Our family is whole again. And, man, I look back at all of the memories I’ve had. From learning to drive Baby and watching you take your first steps, to drinking whiskey while watching movies together and singing Bob Seger as his music blasts from the speakers. I’m thankful for those moments.”

Sam looked at his brother and then back at the stars. He hadn’t really thought about all of that. 

“I guess you’re right. But, what made you think of this now?”

Dean turned his head to look back at the stars, too. “I don’t know. The atmosphere here is just so amazing and made me realize how I want to live every moment to the best of my abilities. And how we won’t go down without a fight, even against Chuck.”

Sam snapped his head to look at his brother at the mention of his name. “You’re right. We’re gonna do our best. But I just don’t know how this is all gonna play out. If we don’t win, then we’re dead. If we do, then what? What comes next?”

Dean thought back to a time when he was younger and Sam would always ask him questions he never could answer. First about monsters and hunting, then about why mom had to die and why he couldn’t live a life like the kids around him. Dean would make up some answer and do his best to not upset his younger sibling. 

“Honestly, I don’t know. We’ve been fighting the good fight for a long time. All our lives. We could keep hunting. Or, we could finally retire like we talked about a while ago. Enjoy some peaceful times, like this.”

Sam laughed a little at that. “Yeah, that would be nice. But, I don’t know if that will ever really be a reality for us.”

“Maybe not. But, we do have Cas and Jack. We have our family. And we have each other. No matter what happens, we can get through it together. You and me against the world, just like we have always done.”

Sam looked over to his big brother. The guy he had always admired and looked up to his entire life. He felt so overwhelmed and even hopeless about this upcoming battle with Chuck. But seeing Dean’s hope and faith in their family, Team Free Will 2.0, helped him to feel better. Maybe they could do this.

“Thanks, De.”

Dean gently slapped his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “You ready to head on back?”

Sam looked at the stars again. “Maybe a few more minutes.”

Dean smiled. 

“Of course, little brother.”


End file.
